Disclaimer: This post contains highly emotional writing. Parental guidance is advised. Keep away from children under ten years old! (I mean it, I’m all over the place in this post!)
Just one word: Chocolate.
I can already hear all the men sighing and saying: ‘Women.’ But the truth is, every woman in the world will understand. (Or maybe there are women out there who don’t like chocolate and eat something else while on their periods, that’s fine. This post still works, just fill in whatever food you like.)
I know that there are “certain people” who think women should stop using their periods as an excuse to eat whatever they want, but to them I would like to say: ‘Sh*t up, you don’t want to go there! And you most certainly don’t want to awaken the dragon!’
Every month we feel like we have no control over our bodies or our emotions and at that moment we deserve to have some chocolate. We deserve whatever we want! And it’s not that we eat chocolate because we just don’t care. It’s the same as pregnancy cravings. We need it!
And we know that it’s wrong. Why do you think girls in movies are always crying when they eat a whole bucket of chocolate ice-cream? It’s because we know it’s wrong to eat so much of it, but at the same time it’s so gooooood! Like an angel peeing on your tongue! (That’s a Dutch saying, just in case you didn’t know and this sentence didn’t make sense at all!)
Is there still someone out there who hasn’t realized I’m writing this post while on my period? I would like to apologize for this emotional post, but I’m eating these chocolate Easter eggs and I just can’t stop. I feel bad enough for eating so many, so this post is just to make me feel better. It’s my excuse to keep eating.
And I’m glad that my uterus is telling me that I’m not pregnant, but she could just send a card.
Surprise, you’re not pregnant!
Right now it’s more like my uterus is using Morse code by hitting me with a hammer.
-.– — ..- .—-. .-. .
-. — –
.–. .-. . –. -. .- -. –
That’s actual Morse code for you’re not pregnant! But at least I no longer feel bad about eating my delicious Easter eggs. Thank you person who invented chocolate.
Have a nice Thursday.