This Face-off-Friday we will fight the battle of all battles. Short people problems vs. tall people problems. Being 6’1 I have probably heard it all, but today we will see who has it worse.
Let’s start with the classics, the things every short or tall person has at least heard once in their life.
‘Hey stretch, how is the weather up there?” – A bit cold, just like your heart!
‘Where did shorty go?’ – I’m right here!
‘Hey stretch, can you reach the thing on the top shelve?’ – Yes, but that doesn’t mean I want to.
‘Hey shorty, I just dropped my thing, can you get it? You’re closer to the ground.” – You dropped it, you get it!
‘Do you play basketball?’ – Do you?
‘You look like a hobbit.’ – That… Just… In no way is that a compliment!
‘You’re not twenty years old, you look way older. Show me your ID.’ – I’m not showing you my ID.
‘You’re not twenty years old, you look twelve. Show me your ID.’ – Not again!
These next two classics are what short and tall people have to endure during family gatherings, every single time.
‘Will you ever stop growing?’ – That’s not something I would know now would I?
‘When will you have your growth spurt?’ – Probably never, but one can keep dreaming.
The next category is all about clothes. As someone who hates shopping in general, I truly believe that these problems are the worst.
Finally finding the jeans you have been looking for, but the store not having them in your size VS. Having to shop in the kids’ section.
Dresses being shirts VS. Shirts being dresses.
Rolling up your sleeves so no one can see they’re too short VS. Rolling up your sleeves so no one can see they’re too long. (Same with jeans!)
Not being able to wear heels VS. Always having to wear heels (and still being the shortest).
You get the point!
Next I have some general problems we all have to suffer through.
Every time you’re out with friends and you split up. They use you as the meeting place, because they can spot you from miles away VS. People can never seem to find you, even when you’re walking right beside them.
Giant jokes VS. Oompa Loompa jokes.
Mirrors hanging too low VS. Mirrors hanging too high.
Always having to slow down VS. Always having to run to keep up.
Walking into tables, which means bruised legs VS. Having to climb counters to reach the things.
Growing Pains! VS. People hitting you in the head with their elbows.
Never having enough leg space in cars, planes, etc. VS. Sitting down and your feet not touching the ground.
Neck pains from looking down VS. Calve pains from always tiptoeing around.
Always having to stand / sit in the back VS. Claustrophobia from being in large groups.
Everyone thinks you’re intimidating VS. Everyone thinks you’re cute.
And worst of all. People asking your height!
I can honestly say that being short has as many disadvantages as being tall. The thing is there are also a lot of advantages to both situations. So it all depends on the fact whether you’re an optimist or a pessimist. It’s the whole glass half full or half empty dilemma.
Have a nice Friday.