Yesterday, me and some of my friends went to the zoo for my friend’s birthday. (No, it’s in no way weird that a twenty year old and her friends go to a zoo!!!) We had a really fun day together, but walking through the park I realized something. Humans are the weirdest animals of all. And that’s saying something! We put these animals that are supposed to live in the wild in cages, but because we don’t want the animals to feel homesick we recreate their homes. Then we proceed by walking past them, taking pictures and expecting them to do something funny or interesting. I’m still waiting for the lions to tap dance and for the elephants to tell a knock knock joke. But okay! That’s not going to happen. So, I’ve realized that it’s way more fun to watch the humans!
Kids are screaming and running around. They had way too much sugar all day and turned into these little demons. Seeing them run around is great, but the real fun begins when they fall face down into the dirt. Or when their faces are covered with ice-cream and their parents are running behind them trying to clean it. The kids just go crazy and their parents regret not using birth control. You can just see the despair on their faces. It’s the best!
Then we also have the humans who start comparing the animals to their family members. (It’s truly a fun game to play). That gorilla looks exactly like aunt Jackie! Oh-oh, look at that snake. It looks so much like my mother-in-law. I feel really connected to that sloth just hanging around!
And when the animals bore you, you can always just start making out! I’m all for public displays of affection, but just keep it PG rated people! They’re called private parts for a reason.
Humans truly are the best! If it’s up to me, we should start zoo’s just for humans. Oh wait, I just realized we already have that. It’s called reality TV. Stupid me!
Have a nice Friday!
PS. If Honey Boo Boo, or whatever she’s called, can compete in pageants and actually wins the crown, then I’m not crazy for thinking I’m a freaking supermodel!