How-to-Tuesday #8

You know what time it is?
Yeah you do. It’s time to get off your butts and say bye-bye to vacation. We’re all going back to school and I want to help. This is a how-to-get-ready-for-school-in-the-morning post. You ready? Let’s do this.

The night before preparations:
First of all, you need to get a comfortable sweatshirt with matching sweatpants (wool socks are optional).
Second you need to get a nice and warm blanket, preferably one that’s twice your size so you can really cuddle into it.
Third get into bed and roll yourself into your blanket.
Don’t forget to set your alarm clock.
Go to sleep. (Maybe watch some more YouTube videos before you really go to sleep, though.)

After your alarm goes off:
Ignore the terrifying noise.
When this doesn’t work, hit the alarm clock aggressively.
Whatever you do, don’t get up. Stay in bed in your protective ball of comfort.
Hit the snooze button.

Five minutes later:
Don’t even bother, just hit the snooze button again. You have more than enough time to get ready. And whatever, you don’t need to shower.

After hitting the snooze button another two times:
You should probably wake up if you want to at least look decent.

Two snooze buttons later:
Don’t worry about it. You can just wear your sweats to school. You’re cool like that. Just hit that snooze button again.

10 minutes later:
You don’t need to eat breakfast.

15 minutes later:
Maybe you should just call in sick. The first day of school sucks anyway. Yeah, you should just stay at home. Don’t even worry about it. Tomorrow the sun will rise again, and maybe you will too. We’ll see. Just go back to sleep. We’ll try again tomorrow.

I hope this helps.

Have a nice Tuesday.


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