Why did you have to poop on me? Did I do something wrong? Did your friends dare you to do it? Maybe you just felt like it, but did you really have to aim for my face? It took me at least 10 minutes to get your shit (pardon my French) of my glasses.
And the smell!
That Truly Awful Smell.
What did you eat? Just straight up garbage? Because that’s what it smelled like.
I was so proud that no bird had ever pooped on me before. 23 YEARS! That’s how long I survived. I just wanted to get to work. I just wanted it to be a fine day! Not perfect, but fine. You ruined it! You ruined a perfectly fine day!
How would you like it if I pooped on you, huh?
Next time, think before you shit!
Have a nice Monday!